


deep calls to deep

by dianawrayburn



Category: The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare, The Wicked Powers Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M, basically all of my twp theories in one fic, kit and ty don't know how to communicate someone help them, slowburn, this is gunna be sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:55:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23315770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dianawrayburn/pseuds/dianawrayburn
Summary: When Ty is reunited with Kit in the midst of his investigation on the mysterious reappearance of the Riders of Mannan, they are forced to confront the repercussions of the resurrection spell they performed years before. With the Cohort plotting in Idris, a worrying rise in demon attacks and destructive fairy secrets, the shadowhunters struggle to repress a war that could hurl the downworld into chaos.
Relationships: Tiberius Blackthorn/Kit Rook
Comments: 14
Kudos: 65





	1. 1

Shadow Market Nights were still Kit’s favorite. It was the first nice night after a bitter England winter, the sun soaked breeze warming the early night. The scent of burning potions overwhelmed the ever present London smell of dirty river water and car exhaust. Blinking lights and colorful lanterns strung up between booths and around street lamps drowned out the distant light of stars and airplanes overhead. 

After three years, Kit knew the London Shadow Market just as well as the one in Los Angeles.  
New friends he had made in the past years and old acquaintances from California called out his name and waved as the crowd of mingling downworlders pulled him deeper into the market. He paused for just a moment to wave back.

It had been hard at first; to come back to the Market. The streets were full of memories, none of which had been painless to recall. Back then, when he’d first moved to Devon, all he had wanted was to forget. Over time he had learned to take comfort in the ghosts of his past and the Shadow Market was the best place to do so. 

Everything from the taste of downworlder cuisine to the hushed exchange of secrets that lingered in the air reminded him of his father. Kit couldn’t forget his father’s lessons even if he tried, but he could no longer recall the sound of Johnny Rook’s gruff laughter and the wicked expression he always wore while making a con. 

Some vendors even asked him where his “nephilim friend” was and when he would be back, but Kit knew just as much as they did.

“Herondale!” a familiar, high pitched voice caught his attention. Tending to a bar in one of the fancier booths was a lanky vampire girl sipping a drink, her dark skin almost grey in the fluorescent light.

“Hey Hollie,” Kit greeted, swinging himself up on one of the industrial barstools, “what’s new?”  
“Oh nothing, just navigating the perils of eternal life.” Hollie, who was dressed, as she often was, in an intricate three-piece crimson suit, acted as if she had been alive for centuries when she really was only a couple of years older than Kit himself.

“So business as usual then,” Kit said as Hollie slid a glass of gin across the bar toward him.  
“Yes, sir. It’s been awhile, is the gremlin talking yet?”  
“Yeah, Mina can do full sentences now! Most of them don’t make much sense, but she’s getting there--” he broke off, Kit could talk about Mina for hours if he got carried away.

“And how about your girlfriend? The mundie one,” Hollie asked as she poured drinks for a vampire couple sitting on the other end of the bar.  
“She isn’t my girlfriend anymore,” Kit huffed, “it wasn’t really working out so we decided just to stay friends.

“Wow, you have the most depressing love life.”  
“Hm”  
“You know, I’ve heard Jeffrey is single.” She gestured across the road to a rough looking, middle aged vampire with a blood stained beard drinking straight from a blood bag. Kit could barely conceal a grimace.  
“Yeah,” Hollie giggled, “I can’t really blame you.” 

He finished his drink and hugged Hollie goodbye, then continued on through the market.

After spending a few more hours perusing stalls and catching up with old friends, it was growing late and vendors were shutting down their stalls. Soon Hypatia Vex would come around to collect her revenue and it was best for him to not be around when she did. Plus, Tessa would call soon to portal him back home. 

He wished that nights at the Shadow Market would last forever, there was something strangely reassuring and comforting to be back in the place of his childhood. 

Kit didn’t mind his life in Devon. It was the life he had wished for on long nights locked in the basement of his house in Victor Heights while his father did business upstairs. But it was here; lost in the crowded streets, under the blinking lights, listening to the fairy music, that he belonged. At the Shadow Market he reveled in excitement and euphoria, a feeling the sweet domesticity of his life at Cirenworth Hall could never give him. 

“Herondale!” A strong voice rose above the chatter of the crowd, which parted as Hypatia moved toward him.  
“Yes?”

Hypatia had grudgingly allowed Kit back into the London Shadow Market so long that he didn’t cause any trouble. He hadn’t done anything to raise enough suspicion yet, but that didn't keep Hypatia from blaming her every inconvenience on his presence.

“I’ve heard someone’s been looking for you,” crossing her arms over her expensive looking black blazer as she spoke, “have you been getting into trouble?”

“I haven’t done anything,” he held his hands up in defense. “Who was looking for me?”

Kit had noticed a few strange looks from passing downworlders, but that was how it always was after he joined the shadowhunters. Hypatia let out a loud, aggravated sigh and before he could protest, seized him by the arm and pulled him towards the gates.

“You’re kicking me out? I haven’t done anything,” Kit repeated, “need I remind you of the reason you run the Los Angeles Market?”  
“You aren’t being kicked out, at least not yet.” She had picked up her pace and didn’t look back at him once as she practically dragged him towards the exit of the market.  
“But--”  
“Quiet.”

As they left the market, the world fell silent. There was no revel music, just the steady rhythm of the Thames rocking against the bridge and the distant lull of sleepy traffic. Hypatia pushed Kit forward, leaving him in the shadows cast by the underbelly of the London Bridge as she disappeared back into the market.

Kit was reaching into the back pocket of his jeans to pull out his phone and call Tessa when he became aware of the looming feeling of being watched. Just as he spun around, a rough hand grabbed at the collar of his shirt. Before he could resist, he was flung almost effortlessly against the wall of the bridge.

For a moment his eyes failed to adjust to the darkness and all he knew was the heavy hand on his chest, a coarse wall against his back and the cool kiss of a blade at the hollow of his throat. When he could see, his eyes focused on a towering man, half of his face shadowed and the other half concealed beneath a polished bronze mask.

“Hello little heir.” Kit could hear the smirk in the man’s rough voice even though he could not see it. The only thing he could think over the pounding pulse in his head was that this was impossible. He must have been hallucinating or dreaming, maybe someone had put a spell on him or slipped a potion into his drink.

Kit had killed each and every one of the Riders of Mannan on the Imperishable fields years ago, but Echoaid was here leering at his throat.

“How--How are you here?” His voice came out jumbled and weak, his father would have been ashamed. One of the first lessons Johnny had taught him was that the worst thing a man could do in the face of danger was show weakness.

“The King sent us.” Echoaid’s breath smelled of rotting wood.

“Kieran?” There must have been something he was missing, a memory lost in the passage of time. There’s no reason he could think of why Kieran would have sent the Rider after Kit and even if there was, Kieran wouldn’t have been able to. The Riders were dead.

“That Kin-slayer,” Echoaid spat down into Kit’s face as he spoke, “is not our king.

“But--,” he was cut off as Echoaid growled impatiently and pushed the blade just far enough that it pierced the skin of Kit’s throat. In an instant his mouth fell open, words running dry. Kit had been cut with a knife before, but it had never felt like this, like alcohol being poured into an open wound. The blood beading at the cut burned like acid against his skin.

“Your kind has brought us to this healthy land and the King has sent us to find you. I shall be rewarded greatly for my success.” 

Kit was no longer paying attention to what Echoaid was saying, but instead to the feeling of warmth igniting his body nerve after nerve. Tessa had attempted to teach him to use his magic so that if needed, he could call on it even if he could not truly control it. His body was buzzing with it now as Echoaid droned on. As long as he could keep the rider talking, he would be able to build up enough magic to send Echoaid back to whatever hell he had escaped from.

Just as the magic reached its crescendo, it went out like a smothered flame. It felt sucked out of Kit’s chest leaving him empty. His mind was overcome with a slow, repressive drowsiness that reminded him distantly of when he had passed out on the battlefield after killing the Riders of Mannan. 

Panic welled in his chest after a futile attempt to reignite his magic. In his training his magic would sometimes fizzle out or delay, but it never left like this. Like it was never there to begin with.

“You think I don’t know about your silly magic tricks, little heir?” Echoaid’s hand was the only thing keeping his legs from buckling underneath him. “You think I wouldn’t have come prepared.”

That was when the finality of this hit him. After everything that had happened, of course he was going to die completely powerless and hopeless. He could feel the sharp pinch at the bridge of his nose and the warm wetness of tears on his cheeks, but he didn’t feel sad, not really. He was so, so tired and there was nothing he could do to save himself.

He had a fleeting wonder if anyone would find him here. If Jem and Tessa would figure out what happened to him or if their memory of him would fade in their minds before they got the chance.

“Echoaid!” It took Kit a moment to realize it wasn’t him who spoke. Echoaid whirled around toward the voice and disappeared into thin air as if he was never there in the first place, sending Kit crumpling onto the pavement.

…

Ty and Anush had been walking for hours. A dull ache thrummed through Ty’s tired legs and he was becoming all too aware of the nauseating feeling of sweat gluing the leather of his Centurion uniform to his skin.

Ty’s headphones muffled most of the noise, but did nothing to help to dull the flashing lights, vibrant colors and overwhelming sights of the London Shadow Market. Not to mention his numerous failed attempts at suppressing the memories of a night just like this, years ago. Memories like these felt like a heavy weight on his chest, suffocating him and demanding all of his attention. He had avoided shadow markets for the past years to keep the memories at bay, but returning for this case was inevitable. 

After months of studying and tracking the newly appeared Riders of Manaan on assignment for the Scholomance, Echoaid had led them to the London Shadow Market. Ty had a guess as to what the Riders were in search of, but neither he nor Anush had any idea what it would be doing here.

They had spent the evening trailing Echoaid through the crowds and asking around the market if anyone had seen anything suspicious or unusual, but it hadn’t been much help. Suspicious and unusual was the norm for places like the Shadow Market and the Rider had done nothing but walk around. But, to Ty’s surprise, several of the vendors had recognized him from the time he spent at the different Shadow Markets years before.

“Hey,” Anush gave Ty’s sleeve a gentle tug to catch his attention. “He’s headed toward the bridge.” Ty followed Anush’s line of vision with his own just in time to see Echoaid slink into the darkness beneath the London Bridge just outside of the market exit.

“He’s leaving? Why would he come all this way just to walk around and leave?” Ty slid his headphones down his neck, disappointed in their lack of new information.

“Maybe he didn’t find the thing he was looking for,” Anush suggested with a shrug.  
“Or the person,” Ty added and gestured for Anush to follow after him, “let’s go.”

Anush saw it first, taking off toward the bridge just as Ty caught a glimpse of the flash of Echoaid’s blade held against the neck of a shadowed figure. Anticipation fluttered in Ty’s stomach, this was the breakthrough he had been waiting for. Forcing his hands to still, he ran after his companion.

“Echoaid!” Anush shouted out right before he reached them. The rider dropped the knife he had been holding and spun around toward the call, he disappeared with a flash of dull light. Ty knew that Anush had just been trying to save Echoaid’s victim however he could, but he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of annoyance at him for allowing Echoaid to escape so easily.

“It’s a shadowhunter,” Anush said, crouched over the crumpled body when Ty reached them.  
“A shadowhunter?” Ty stepped to the side so he could see past Anush.

Ty’s body reacted before his mind did, his stomach plummeted the same way it did right after the big drop on a rollercoaster and his mind whirled, making a futile attempt to process what he was seeing.

For the past three years, Ty had done everything he could to leave his past behind, to make something new out of himself. Every decision, every sacrifice he had made ensured that he would be able to start new, free from the burden of his past mistakes. He had split himself in two, Ty from before and Ty from after and he wanted to keep it that way. But somehow, something along the way must have gone wrong and now his past and his future had collided. Now they stood side by side as if they had never been separated at all.

“Kit.” It was more of a gasp than a word.

Crumpled on the ground, being held up by Anush was KIt Herondale, staring at Ty with a distant look, his eyes half-lidded and his lips parted in shock.

Anush looked up at Ty with unveiled surprise, “you know him?” Ty opened his mouth to reply, but it felt full of cotton and he couldn’t think of anything right to say.

“Yeah, you could say that,” Kit huffed. His voice was rough and he was clearly in pain, but it was also light as if what he had said was a joke.

Despite all of his attempts to repress it, Kit had come to him in unguarded dreams and intrusive thoughts. But the Kit in front of him now was nothing like the one he recalled in his nearly photographic memory.

His blonde hair curled and hung in his face which was wider and sharper than it had been before. Even though he was lying down, it was obvious that he now had the broadness and muscles that revealed the shadowhunter lineage he had once resented. Even his clothes, a half unbuttoned silk dress shirt and a pair of black jeans were jarringly different from the worn joggers and baggy t-shirts he used to wear. Ty wondered for a moment if Kit had truly changed that much or if Ty had never really known him to begin with.

After a moment of hesitation, Ty stalked over to Kit and Anush and knelt down on the pavement. This close Ty could see the robin’s eggs spattering of freckles under Kit’s eyes.

“Kit, could you tell us what happened?’  
“Um well--I was just--Fuck,” Kit broke off with a groan, “my head fucking hurts.”

“Does he usually act like this?” Anush muttered under his breath.  
“Not that I remember,” Ty replied. 

The cut, just below Kit’s Adam’s apple, had stopped bleeding, blood drying on his throat and staining the fabric of his shirt pink. Kit’s eyes snapped open, his gaze locking with Ty’s before wrenching to the ground.

“The cut is so shallow,” Ty struggled to keep his voice indifferent, “Echoaid could have killed you, but he didn’t.”  
“It’s almost like he wasn’t trying to do any damage,” Anush added.

Ty reached out to brush the cut with his finger, choosing to ignore the way Kit shivered underneath his touch.  
“That's because he wasn't,” Ty confirmed, “he only broke the skin enough to access blood.”  
“You’re saying he was poisoned?” Anush had a way of keeping up with Ty that not many others had.

Ty nodded and turned back toward Kit.  
“Kit?” Kit looked back up at him. “It looks like whatever Echoaid did to you isn’t fatal, but it could have unknown side effects. Anush here is going to give you a quick Iratze to help with that. Could I see your phone for just a moment so I can call Jem or Tessa so we can help you home?” Kit reached into his pocket for his phone and punched in a number before handing it to Ty.

The call connected with a gentle click, “Hi Kit, are you ready to come home?” Ty hadn’t spoken to Jem in years, but he still spoke with the same level of calmness he had when they last talked.  
“Hi Jem, this is Tiberius,”

“Oh.” The line went silent for a moment. “Where is Kit, is he okay?” Ty could hear the thinly concealed worry in Jem’s voice.  
“Well--um-- I’m at the Shadow Market on a case for the Scholomance and I saw Kit being attacked. He was barely hurt and we gave him an iratze, but I believe he may have been poisoned with something strong, but non-lethal.” There was a minute of muffled chatter, no doubt Jem conferring with Tessa.

“We’ll open a portal immediately, see you in a minute.”  
“Okay.” 

Anush was helping Kit to his feet when Ty returned. It was clear that he couldn’t stand on his own, swinging from side to side hazily like a drunk. Before Anush could walk toward the swirling portal that had materialized under the dull glow of the street light, Ty grabbed on to Kit’s arm.

“Let me carry him,” Ty said to Anush who let go, putting all of Kit’s weight onto him.


	2. 2

By the time Jem and Tessa had dragged Kit up to his room, he couldn’t support himself at all. His limbs fell slack and he could do nothing but watch helplessly as they did their best to bear his weight. His room, dimly lit with tall walls cramped with a collage of posters, had never felt so welcoming as it did when he sunk into his bed.

Even as exhaustion crept into his vision, he remained awake. Jem had advised doing so until they knew the antidote he administered worked and even if he hadn't, Kit was too shocked to let his mind rest. For hours his heart continued to race and the sinking feeling of dread loomed over him, overwhelming his ability to process all that he’d seen.

When the fear did recede, like the early morning tide, and left him stranded and exposed, Jem had been there. He drew Kit’s head into his lap, threading gentle fingers through Kit’s tangled hair as silent tears wet the sheets. 

“I don’t know what to do.”   
“About what?” Jem’s calmly composed voice was a shelter, a lifeline. “Ty or the riders of Manaan?”  
“Both? I don’t know,” Kit said.

“Be patient with Ty,” Jem started, “you two parted with many things left unsaid so it’s only natural that he is acting reluctant and confused. But don’t forget to be patient with yourself as well, you deserve to be happy so don’t force yourself to be in a situation where you’re not.” Jem grabbed onto one of his hands and squeezed it. “In regards to the attack, our priority is keeping you safe. It’s not your job to get involved just because of your bloodline, but if that’s what you want to do, I’m sure you’ll be of great value to the investigation.”

“And what if,” Kit hesitated, “if i do decide to get involved, does that mean I have to tell everyone?” Beside Jem and Tessa, there were only a few people that knew about who he was and they only knew so they would be able to help ensure his safety. Aside from Kit’s lessons with Tessa, he had avoided thinking about his lineage and what it meant. If anyone found out, would they think he was a monster? Or would they try to use him to control the courts? 

“That’s up to you, Kit, and what you want.” Jem’s voice was soothing, but the words were anything but. All he wanted was to be here with Jem and Tessa and Mina. He wanted to go to the London Shadow Market on the weekends, and go out to get drinks with his friends and he wanted Ty to stay. But instead he had been handed a ticking time bomb with no clock and a lifetime waiting for it to go off. 

“Kit?” Jem asked, sensing Kit’s despair.  
“Yeah?”  
“This is your secret to tell, but please know that once people know, you can’t take it back. All I want is for you to be safe, but you were destined for great things and I recognize that those two things don’t always come hand in hand. If this is something you truly want, do what you need to do to be great and know that Tessa and I will always be here to love you.” All of this made Kit’s chest ache, but it wasn’t necessarily a bad ache, it was an ache that he had been longing for his entire life.

…

Ty tossed and turned in the bed of Jem and Tessa’s guest room, listening to the sound of running water from the bathroom where Anush was showering. The bed was more plush than the dorm mattress he was used to and he couldn’t stop thinking about everything he had refused to think of for the past few years.

Part of him was curious about what Kit had gotten up to and how he had changed, but he was also angry or at least angrier than he thought he would be. Before Jem and Tessa had whisked him away, Ty and Anush had been able to ask him a few questions about Echoaid’s attack. Kit didn’t look up at him once and Ty couldn’t help but feel sharp anger unfurling in his chest. He couldn’t get over how unfair it was that Kit had made the decision to leave without saying goodbye and thought he could just sit there and make Ty feel guilty about it.

Friends had been hard to come by growing up in the institute and it certainly didn’t help that the few shadowhunter kids he was around showed apparent disinterest in him. Kit had been the first person outside of his family that stuck around long enough to know him. He had always been aware of the possibility that Kit could leave, but after Livvy died, Ty needed someone to trust, he had trusted Kit. But now it was clear that Kit had only stuck around for Livvy and when Ty had failed him, he had no other reason to stay.

Ty pushed down the rising memory of the day at the beach when Kit and Livvy had kissed, recalling it left him feeling the same sickly ache in his stomach you feel when you’ve eaten something too sweet. He had tried to ask Livvy about the kiss, but she had always brushed it off as meaningless. When he told her that she didn’t lie to protect his feelings, she just rolled her eyes and floated away.

The bathroom door opened, pulling Ty from his spiraling thoughts. Soft golden light and steam spilled into the room as Anush, wearing a pair of borrowed pajama pants, walked out and made his way over Ty. Brushing Ty’s hair out of his face, Anush pressed a soft kiss on his forehead, then his cheek, but before the kisses could reach Ty’s lips, Ty pushed him away. Anush frowned, but didn’t say anything as he climbed into bed.

The silence between them was almost painful, backs facing each other but neither pretending that they were asleep. Ty knew that he should say something, he knew that Anush wanted to ask about Kit but didn't know if it was okay.

Just as Ty began to assume that Anush had given up he whispered, “Ty?”  
“Yes?”  
“How do you know Kit?” Anush spoke so cautiously like he was scared of startling him.   
“Kit came to live at the Los Angeles Institute when I was fifteen,” Ty started, he had kept Kit to himself for so long it felt strange sharing him with someone else. “He became friends with Livvy and I. Livvy died and he stuck around for a little bit, but then he came to live with Jem and Tessa and we haven’t been in contact since.”

“Oh.” Anush was quiet, like he didn’t quite know what to say. “Did you--,” he hesitated, “were you guys?”   
“No.” They lapsed back into an uneasy silence.

“Did you know him well?” Anush asked.  
“That’s what I used to think,’ Ty sighed, “now I’m not so sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait, this chapter is pretty short but the next is much longer and should be up soon!


	3. Chapter 3

For the first few moments after waking up to the smell of pancakes and a goldfinch’s song, Ty felt as though he were back at home in Los Angeles. He realized otherwise as the breeze fluttering through the open window was cool and the air lacked the heavy drowsiness of Californian humidity. For a moment he allowed himself to lay in bed and bask in the ache of longing for home. The desire to become a Centurion had marked his childhood, but his youthful dreams of research and mysteries had failed to recognize how much he would miss home once he was gone. Although he loved the Scholomance, he couldn’t help but miss Julian’s home cooked meals, training with Emma and exploring the tidepools that decorated the Institute's beach.

The place next to him in bed was empty and messily made. Ty realized with a wave of annoyance that Anush must have gone downstairs without him. Clambering out of bed, Ty took a moment to comb through his hair with his fingers, but didn’t bother to change out of the sweatshirt that Jem and Tessa had lent him. 

Cirenworth Hall was a place of long corridors lined with wooden doors and bay windows opening up to rolling hills and grazing pasture animals. It reminded Ty a little of the London Institute in that it held within its walls the history of so many Nephilim that had spent a piece of their lives in the house. He wondered briefly if any of his ancestors had stayed at the Cirenworth. There were several open rooms filled with leather furniture and restored Edwardian photographs of familiar looking Shadowhunters. 

It wasn’t until he was halfway down the staircase that he realized that Kit could very well be down there already. Freezing on the stairs and clinging onto the wooden railing, Ty attempted to prepare himself. All too suddenly, the pale witchlight became painfully bright and his stomach felt twisted in knots. He couldn’t remember the last time something this little had affected him this much. Overthinking will only make things worse, was what Julain had always told him when he got like this, but he couldn’t force himself out of his spiralling mind.. That was until it occurred to him that Kit could just as likely still be upstairs and find him standing on the staircase. 

The thought itself propelled him down the remaining stairs and into the kitchen with open french doors. They opened up to a patio with a farmers table where Anush sat, chatting with Jem and Tessa. Kit wasn’t sitting at the table, nor was he in the kitchen, much to Ty’s relief. He must have been sleeping in like he always used to when he was staying at the institute. At least some things hadn't changed. 

“Good morning Ty,” Tessa called over to him with her usual motherly tone as he made his way outside, “why don’t you come sit down and have some breakfast?”  
“Okay, thank you,” Ty smiled meekly at her and then at Anush who was patting the seat next to him. Sitting down, he grabbed a plate and piled a couple pancakes onto it. They were good, not as good as Julain’s, but still good.

“We were just speaking with Anush about your case,” Jem started. “It’s a truly fascinating situation, Tessa and I have quite a variety of books on the Fair Folk, I’m sure they would prove useful to your investigation. If you wish, we’d love to have you for a day or two longer so you can look through them.” Despite Jem’s usual open and welcoming demeanor, Ty was surprised by the invitation. Had Jem and Tessa consulted Kit about this? Ty doubted that they would go against Kit’s wishes.

“Thank you, but I don’t know if it would be a good idea for us to stay,” Ty hesitated, “if we stay too long we could lose track of Echoaid.” In reality, it was an amazing opportunity, one that he would have accepted under different circumstances. The research material at the Scholomance was fairly informative, but the books were often written by shadowhunters and showed a clear prejudice. Any Centurion would accept the invitation, but this meant being around Kit for any longer and there was only so much he could take. Everything living had a limit and Ty knew that if Kit pushed him over, the new life he had built for himself would begin to unravel.

“C’mon Ty,” Anush said. “It’s only for a few days and it’ll help us out a whole lot.”  
“What about Echoaid?  
“Echoaid hasn’t led us anywhere, this could give us a whole new lead.”  
“Fine,” Ty conceded, unable to come up with any other valid reason to deny the invitation. It would be unreasonable to blame Kit for something that was completely under control before it even happened, if Ty unraveled the fault would be entirely his own and he would ensure that nothing like that would happen. He looked up from his breakfast to see Tessa glancing over at Jem with a private, half-suppressed smile.

It wasn’t long until Kit came outside, holding a sleepy-eyed little girl with messy black pigtails up against his hip. Her dark eyes swept lazily from Ty to Anush and then turned away from them, pressing her fists against her eyes while yawning.

“Um, good morning,” Kit said, the greeting sounding almost like a question.  
“Good morning,” Ty wasn’t sure what else to say. Kit looked soft, almost fragile in the light of the early morning sun. With his crumpled golden hair and hesitant smile, Ty couldn’t help but compare him to the gentle but courageous princes in the old storybooks Julian used to read to him. Before he got lost in the thought, he had to remind themselves that the princes in the stories never ran away and didn’t leave when they were needed the most.

“This is Mina.” Kit had set her down and she was staring up at Ty expectantly. The only toddler Ty had spent a considerable amount of time with was Tavvy and he had never been good with him like Julian had been. Unsure of what else to do, he waved, his cheeks heating at his incompetence. After raising a crooked eyebrow at him, Mina waved back with her pudgy hand and giggled. Anush huffed a laugh under his breath and reached out to grab Ty’s hand underneath the table. It wasn’t until he had threaded their fingers together that Ty realized their hands must not have been hidden enough from Kit, who was staring at them with wide eyes. 

…

Kit hadn’t known what to expect when he came downstairs, but it definitely wasn’t Ty wearing one of Kit’s sweatshirts holding hands with Anush Joshi. The warm intimacy of Ty wearing his clothes surprised him, the sweatshirt was just short enough that it revealed a sliver of pale skin and Ty pulled the sleeves over his hands like he always did with Julian’s sweaters. Kit felt stupefied and intoxicated by it, unable to tear his eyes away until he noticed Ty’s hand holding onto Anush’s under the table. Whatever affection he had felt before felt pulled out of him as if his breath had been plucked from his lungs. Pushing down the brewing feeling, Kit sat down next to Tessa, who was feeding Mina pieces of pancake on her lap.

Church, who had been sleeping at the foot of Mina’s bed minutes before, wandered outside. He scrunched his face up at Kit, as if his mere presence offended the cat. Swishing his tail, Church ambled over to Ty who lit up at the sight of him and reached over to scratch under Church's chin. When he started purring, Jem glanced over to Kit with a smile.

“I told you he doesn’t mind people who know where he likes to be pet.”   
“Yeah sure, he’s still plotting my downfall,” Kit grumbled and made a show of rolling his eyes. It was no surprise that Church adored Ty, who was the exception to many things. Kit looked up and noticed Ty staring at him with his brow furrowed. He made a futile attempt to catch Ty’s gaze, but Ty avoided it, his cheeks flushed with gentle pink.

“Are you feeling any better today?” Tessa asked him.  
“I’m okay, I guess. I’m a little light headed, but nothing too bad.”  
“Good, let us know if anything changes. I was hoping you could show Ty and Anush to the library after they finish their breakfast, they’ve decided to stay for a while longer to do some research.” 

I’m all finished actually,” Anush said, glancing over at Ty and his empty plate. “What about you.”  
“I’m ready if you are,”   
“Then let’s go,” Kit announced, then stood up and walked into the house without bothering to look back as Ty and Anush scrambled up from their seats. It was all too much seeing Ty and Anush like this, Ty talking to Anush with the same easy companionship and curiosity that he and Kit had. How quickly had Ty replaced him? Whatever the answer, he knew it wouldn’t surprise him. Ty had needed his access to the Shadow Market and his experience in the downworld, but Ty had never needed him.   
Leading them through the sitting room and upstairs in silence, Kit struggled to think of something to say and wondered if he was allowed to say anything at all. He still hadn’t looked back, but he could hear Ty and Anush’s quiet footsteps through the awkward silence.

“So, what is this whole case about?” Kit asked, unable to stand the quiet. He wasn’t sure how inherently involved in the situation he was, but he wouldn’t be surprised if the return of the Riders of Manaan had everything to do with him.

“That information belongs to the Scholomance and the Consul,” Anush said, “unless you have any more information pertaining to the case, it’s against the rules to discuss it with you.”   
“Lex malla, lex nulla,” Kit muttered just loud enough for Ty to hear, hoping to incite some sort of reaction. Ty stayed quiet.

When Kit pushed open the door to the library, his eyes fell subconsciously to Ty as he searched around the room, his silvery eyes darting across the room in wonder.  
“Wow,” Ty breathed. Kit had a similar reaction the first time he saw the library, accidentally stumbling into it while looking for a bathroom on his second day in Devon. Massive oak bookcases that climbed to the ceiling covered three of the walls. Sliding ladders adorned them, reaching up the shelves like trees reaching up to sunlight. They were overflowed with all kinds of books, ranging from children’s books, to comics, to ancient looking scrolls. In the center of the room sat a few armchairs and a coffee table scattered with books that had not yet found their place on the shelves. 

After a moment of basking in Ty’s awe, Kit gestured to a section on one of the shelves. “This is pretty much all of the books about the fae folk. I haven’t read most of them, but Jem and Tessa have if you need any help.” Ty, who had wandered over to the books, ran a finger along their spines and skimmed the titles with restless eyes. Kit was reminded of the nights they had spent together at the Los Angeles Shadow Market looking for spell ingredient and how Ty browsed the stalls with unbridled curiosity. 

“Do you have a notebook and a couple of pens we could borrow,” Anush asked as Ty pulled a few books off of the shelf and headed toward the chairs.   
“Yeah, the desk in your guest room has a whole bunch of stationary.” There was definitely some writing materials in the library, but Kit had been flooded with the sudden urge to get Ty alone and this would send Anush out of the room for a few minutes.  
“Okay, I’ll go grab them,” he turned to Ty, “I'll be right back.” After a nod of agreement from Ty, he was out of the room. 

Although Kit had been thinking about getting Ty alone with him since the night before, he hadn’t actually thought about what he would say or do. Ty’s return into his life had felt like somewhat of a dream, maybe because this same situation had re-played itself in Kit’s mind night after night. But now that it was just them, just Kit and Ty, the chasm that stood between them felt too real. Three years ago, this would have been easy. Everything had been easy between them, even if being around Ty had made his chest ache and his stomach flip in on itself. At least some things hadn’t changed.

Ty lounged in an armchair, flipping through a book, but his ears were flushed pink and one of his hands ran repeatedly through his unruly hair. With a shaky exhale, Kit stalked over to the cluster of seats and fell into the armchair adjacent to Ty’s.

“So, you and Anush?” Kit winced at how pathetic he sounded.  
“And?” Ty didn’t look up from what he was reading, but his busy hands stilled. “What does that have anything to do with you?”  
“Um. Well--.” Ty was right, it didn’t have anything to do with him. He knew this, but there was a sort of desperation rising in his chest, there was something about Anush that just didn’t feel right. A feeling he thought, maybe foolishly, that transcended whatever jealousy he felt. “Wasn’t he a member of the Cohort?” Ty looked up at him, his face cold and Kit was sure he had said the wrong thing.

“Yes, he was a member of the Cohort,” Ty started, his voice eerily calm. “He grew up surrounded by ignorance, but he learned better and he changed. He helped save Diego and Jaime, remember?”   
“I guess so, but--”   
“No,” Ty interrupted.  
“What?” 

“You have no right to criticize and judge what I choose to do.” Ty had set his book down and crossed his arms over his chest.  
“I wasn’t--” Kit broke off. That was exactly what Kit had been doing, guilt burned in his gut.

“Listen, Kit, I trusted you. I trusted you when I needed someone to trust more than I ever have and you lied to me. The minute you left, you forfeited your say in what I do.” Kit’s heart sunk in his chest and his pulse quicked, he felt as if he was watching everything unroll from behind a screen. Like he was back at Lake Lyn.

“Just let me--”   
“No,” Ty interrupted again, his voice raising until he was almost shouting. “You’ve had three years to explain, now it’s my turn to talk.” Kit had expected Ty to be mad, but he never thought that Ty would refuse to let him explain himself like this.

“When Livvy died, I trusted you because I thought you were different. You cared enough about Livvy to understand why I needed to get her back, so I let you in. But you were just like everyone else. You lied to me to get what you wanted and then stormed out when it didn’t work. You manipulated me into thinking that you wanted it and refused to tell me that you thought otherwise until it was too late. You told me that you wanted to be different from your father, that you wanted to be better, but you’re just like him, Kit Rook. You’re a liar and a coward.”

Shocked into silence, Kit stood frozen and unsure of what to say. This wasn’t a new revelation to Kit, that he was a product of his father’s parenting, but hearing it come from Ty felt like tearing off a scab on an old wound. He was sick to his stomach and his eyes stung with the effort of holding in tears.

“That’s not my name,” Kit said lamely. All of the apologies and explanations he had formulated over the past three years abandoning him.

Ty lifted his eyes from Kit’s shoulder for just a moment, to meet Kit’s gaze. “It might as well be.” Despite what Ty was saying, Kit’s breath hitched. This was the first time that Ty had made earnest eye contact with him. He racked his mind, unable to find anything adequate to say. The worst part of it all was that Ty, who never lied, was telling the complete truth. As much as Kit had tried to convince himself that he unlearned the selfish, survival instincts he had picked up from his father. When it came down to it, there was always a part of him that would be Johnny Rook’s son.

Turning on his heels, he stormed out of the door.

…

It had been hours since Kit had stormed out and Ty hadn't seen him since. He made the futile attempt to pay attention to his research on seelie-unseelie relations, but the expression on Kit’s face had been seared into the forefront of his mind. With glassy eyes and a pinched face, Kit looked frighteningly similar to how he looked the night they tried to raise Livvy. Jem had brought him and Anush sandwiches for lunch, and when Ty asked where Kit had gone, Jem had just shrugged and assured him that Kit would be back soon.

He hadn’t meant to say those things, or at least not like that. All of the anger he had bottled up during the years they were apart boiled over, leaving him scrambling for something to contain it. Second after Kit had stormed out, Anush had walked in on him, swiping angry tears off of his cheeks.

The few books he and Anush had the chance to skim over had more useful information on the Riders of Manaan than all of the books at the Scholomance combined. There was even more information of the First Heir, a discovery Ty would have been thrilled about if his mind wasn’t constantly replaying his and Kit’s fight.

“I’m going to take a quick break and wander around,” Ty told Anush. His eyes had grown weary from staring at ancient handwriting and his lack of concentration prevented him from doing anything productive.  
“Okay, do you want me to come with?”  
“No, I just want to be alone for a minute.” Anush eyed him with suspicion, but didn’t say anything.

He wandered aimlessly through the house, letting his feet lead him through empty corridors. It helped a little, to turn his mind off, using meditation techniques that Professor Loss had taught him. Ty had gotten much better at it, but it was impossible to keep his most intrusive thoughts from slipping back into his attention. A high pitched giggle of a voice he didn’t recognize broke the silence, followed by another laugh he recognized immediately as Kit’s. 

It didn’t take long to find where the laughing was coming from, Ty pressed his ear against the door of what he assumed was another bedroom and listened. Kit and whoever he was with were talking quietly for him to make out, but every few seconds one of them would burst out laughing. Before Ty could think through the consequences of what he was about to do, he swung the door open,

Kit was laying on the lap of a mundane girl their age with shoulder length black hair who was sitting up against the headboard of the bed they sat on. They both fell silent and looked toward them, Ty’s gaze shifting quickly to the walls which were covered from floor to ceiling with a myriad of posters. 

“Um, sorry,” Ty muttered, heat and panic rising to his cheeks. Before he could say anything else, Kit burst in hysterical giggles all over again. It reminded him distantly of the day at the London Institute when Kit had told him that he would miss him if he went to the Scholomance. Had Kit missed him? he wondered, until he remembered that it was Kit who left him, whatever Kit said he had felt back then was either temporary or completely made up.

The girl clapped a hand over Kit’s mouth, the laughs muffled, but still jarring, “Sorry about that.” she said, her accent thick,“he’s absolutely pissed.” Suddenly, she yelped, pulling her hand away from his mouth and wiped it on the sheets. From the smirk on Kit’s face, to the disgusted look on her’s, Ty guessed that Kit had licked her hand.

“So, who are you?” the girl asked, making a futile attempt to meet Ty’s eyes.  
“Ty Blackthorn. I’m, um, a family friend of Kit’s.” He wasn’t sure if that was an appropriate way to describe him and Kit, they certainly weren’t friends, but calling them stranges didn’t make sense either.

“No way! The guy from Romania?” The girl’s eyes opened wide, to Ty’s surprise.  
“Yes?” He had no idea why his name warranted such a reaction, nor how she knew who he was and where he lived.  
“He’s actually real?”  
“Um, yeah,” Kit said, looking just as confused as Ty felt, “did you think I was making him up?”

“How was I not supposed to? You kept going on and on about this guy who lives in Romania, but you didn’t have any pictures and the stories you told didn’t really add up.” They were quiet, both embarrassed. It had never occurred to Ty that Kit would talk about him to other people.

“Well, now that that’s cleared up,” she climbed out of bed and kissed Kit on the top of his messy, golden hair. The gesture sent a flash of burning heat through Ty’s chest, this was Kit’s girlfriend, he realized. He knew he shouldn’t care, but Kit sharing his life with some mundane girl for a few years felt like a betrayal. But, he reminded himself, he had only known Kit for months. This girl knew Kit, the real Kit, more than Ty ever had. Preoccupied in his thoughts, he neglected to realize that she was standing in front of him now, extending her hand.

“I’m Brooke, It’s nice to meet you.” They shook. “Bye guys,” she waved and then turned to leave the room.

“Ugh,” Kit whined, digging his face into the palms of his hands before looking up at Ty who stood stock still in the doorway. “What?” he slurred.  
“Nothing, I’m sorry for interrupting you,” he paused, “I’ll go now.”

…

That was the last time Ty had seen Kit all night, not in the library where Jem and Tessa helped them with their research, not in the backyard playing with Mina and not at dinner with the rest of his family. Eventually, Ty gave up on waiting Kit out and followed Anush up to their room for bed. Once in their room, Anush had pressed him up against a wall and kissed up and down Ty’s neck until his legs threatened to give out. It had felt like hours since they had climbed into bed, but he still failed to fall asleep.

He was painfully aware of Anush's little movements and the silence his headphones provided was abnormally jarring. Exhaustion weighed on his eyelids and shoulders, but his mind clutched onto the thoughts racing through his mind.

And then there was something else, the delicate hum of an old song. Familiar and nostalgic, but unknown at the same time. If Ty strained his hearing, he could make out the individual notes. At first he assumed that the music must have been Jem’s, but it sounded nothing like a violin. The more he listened, the more he became aware that this music was not human in nature. It had the pull of a revel song, the notes beckoning as they rose up and fell down, but it felt almost mournful, like a song of grieving.

As if in a trance, Ty got up from his bed and trailed into the hallway without checking to make sure that Anush was still asleep. The song led him through dark corridors, tugging at his heart and bringing him closer to the sound. At the top of a short staircase, an archway opened up to a room, the kind of room on movie sets or in the setting of a Victorian novel. The glass ceiling revealed an unguarded view of the sky, the house being so far in the country that each star shone with a distinct hue that would be unreadable anywhere else. Underneath the night sky was a collection of instruments. From the little Ty knew about the history of instruments, he was sure that these ones had lived much longer than he had. And in the middle of the room, sat on the bench of a grand piano and illuminated by muted witchlight, was Kit.

Kit played on, unaware of Ty, who was completely still except for his eyes which studied Kit with a painful intensity. The witchlight bathed Kit’s bare chest in celestial light, contrasting against the black marks that unfurled on his skin. He was wearing nothing but a pair of flannel pajama pants, the development causing a slow flip in the pit of Ty’s stomach. His hair was damp and curling, lighter highlights catching the light. In his hands was a green and white electric guitar, the muscles in Kit’s forearms flexing and unflexing as they wrung the intoxicating song from it’s strings. 

“Ty?” The music had spiraled into silence and Kit was looking at him with his hands clenched around the neck of his guitar. Ty still stuck in his trance failed to realize Kit for several seconds, the song still rolling in his ears. 

“Um I couldn't sleep,” his voice sounded uneasy, “I heard your music, I’ve never heard anything like it.”  
“It’s an old fae song,” Kit said, his voice bashful. “Jem has a book full of them. It wasn’t made for the guitar so it doesn’t do the song justice, but I like to play them sometimes.”

Unlike earlier that day, the sight of Kit didn’t cause any built up anger to arise, if anything it soothed the residual animosity that lingered between them from their fight. Maybe it had been the song, lulling Ty into a drowsy compliance or maybe it was Kit’s expression, pained but shy. As if he wanted to trust Ty, but wasn’t sure if he was allowed to.

“I didn’t know you played,” Ty said. Kit had never mentioned it during their time together. He cradled the guitar in his hands and ran his fingers through the strings with the same gentleness that Ty treated his Sherlock novels.   
“I started playing a few months after I got here. Jem tried to teach me violin, but it didn’t work out so he suggested this instead.”

Ty came closer then, walking hesitantly toward Kit. This up close, he could see the flush of red brushed on the contours of Kit’s cheekbones and the puffy redness surrounding his eyes. 

“I didn’t mean to say all that,” the words fell from Ty’s lips before he could really think about what he was saying.  
“What?” Kit was looking in his direction, but not directly at him so that Ty didn’t have to look away.  
“From earlier today. I didn’t mean to say it,” Ty said.  
“It’s fine,” Kit’s voice was almost a whisper, “You weren’t wrong, I deserved it.”

Ty opened his mouth to argue, but his words ran dry when he saw the expression on Kit’s face. His eyebrows were drawn together, his eyes shut tightly. His chin crumpled, like what children did when they fought to hold back tears. In that moment Ty knew that whatever he said would be useless, he had already done the damage and Kit had believed him. The painful, suffocating desire to hold Kit and to make sure he was okay threatened to overcome him.

“Tell me what you need,” Ty said, because he wasn’t sure what else to say. And because it was what Kit had said to him that night in London when Ty’s world felt as if it was collapsing in on itself. The anger he felt was still there, Ty was sure that there would ever be anything strong enough to fully extinguish it, but for now it was overwhelmed by a myriad of other feelings he couldn’t quite distinguish. 

Kit just groaned, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes, “I’m fine, sorry. Can we talk tomorrow instead, I just-- fuck. I’m sorry.”  
“It’s all right, we’ll talk tomorrow,” Ty promised as he made his way out of the room. He stopped in the doorway. “Can I just ask you one thing?” 

“What?’ Kit’s voice was rough.  
“Why didn’t you say goodbye?” Kit laughed a little at that, sounding nothing like he had earlier that night with Brooke. 

“You’ll never know, Ty, how good it feels to be needed. You’ve had people all your life that needed and wanted you around them. The only person I ever had was my father, but he didn’t want me around and he certainly didn’t need me. Then there was you. You told me to stay and you told me that you wanted me to be your Watson. You have no idea how it felt, for someone to finally want me to stay--,” Kit paused, his breath catching on those words. “But I was just fooling myself, in the end I wasn’t enough. I didn’t want to come here at first, I thought that Jem and Tessa were just two more people to disappoint, but I didn’t have much of a choice. I couldn’t say goodbye because it hurt too much, even thinking about it hurt. You were better off without me, you said it yourself, saying goodbye would have only made leaving harder.”

Oh, Ty thought to himself, this is all my fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I finished awhile ago and kind of forgot about it. Anyways, I hope you liked it. Next chapter is a shorter one in Dru's pov!

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea for such a long time and now I finally have the free time to write!


End file.
